i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My penis needs a shock collar
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
