There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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