**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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