you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Let's paint friendship bongs
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
