dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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