Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
