Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
