Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
