He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Randomize
