I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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