Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize