haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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