Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
