I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
