OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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