Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
