Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize