If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
