I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
