i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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