she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
