I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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