The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
