Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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