i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
