mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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