he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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