the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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