I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
