Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
