i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
