so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just had sex bonerless
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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