Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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