Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
