when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
