Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
