he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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