Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
