Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
