I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
