By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
