Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
