I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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