This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
