Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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