I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
