Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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