I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
