I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
