Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
