He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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