He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
