So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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