You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
