omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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