My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
