Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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