So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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