smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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