Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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