Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
