Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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