then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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