He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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