Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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