He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
