i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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