i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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