we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Panties = found
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
