HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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