toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
