did you get engaged???
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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