another moral hangover. fuck.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I love having hate sex.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
